I see him from a distance. He is in his signature weekend look. Khaki pants, a white t-shirt (I wonder why he questions that white is my favorite color) and HIS Tommy Hilfiger baseball cap. As I check- out, I wave at him as he seems to be looking for his pretty little miss thing. I not only see his excitement but can feel how genuine he had missed me and how he is excited to see me. We hug- you know those tight long hugs? He holds my cheeks with his smooth warm hands. He almost says ‘abujubuju” but my side eye look holds him back. I had missed Stan so much and can’t help stare at his cute eyes. He gives me a kiss while fumbling some words which I did not hear clearly- but am convinced they were lovely ones.
Stan has always been true and open with me from day one. If I annoy him, he will tell me. He is not afraid of telling me the hard truth that I need to hear from time to time. He tells me off, if I am doing the wrong thing and appreciates me reciprocating the same. He openly expresses his opinion about my decisions and actions-whether I ask for it or not. He shares with me books, articles, ted talks… all and any content that he believes will make me a better woman and human being. He is very much into self-development. He is also vulnerable with me and so am I, with him.
Stan is full of himself- he is self-full. He is very self-aware. He is self-conscious. He is intelligent. He is sweet. He is handsome. He loves himself.
Driving home, I kept thinking about a quote by Maya Angelo “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves, yet say “I love you”. This is borrowed from an African proverb “beware of a naked man who offers you his shirt”
In life we meet people and we establish relationships. Some of these relationships are defined as acquaintances, others friends and BFFs. Others evolve and become romantic relationships- like dating, that leads to marriage you know. @Stan- hebu state our relationship status kwa comment section.
I trust Stan because he trusts himself. I express my love for him because he loves himself. I take his advice because he walks the talk- most time because he is human. He is very consistent. He takes care of himself. He is so real and himself.
On the other hand, there are “close friends” I don’t trust. They don’t walk the talk. They are not consistent and so I never count on them. They don’t love and trust themselves- so how do trust that they genuinely love me.
What am trying to say is-be wary of those that offer something they themselves have yet to obtain. Someone who has nothing to offer makes an irresistible offer to you, remember, accepting the same shall make you indebted to that someone forever. Think twice before trusting the intentions of that person/frimds who is not in the position to give, but freely offers what s/he herself/himself does not have.