Today, 12th May, happens to be my birthday. I think this was a perfect day for my mother to give birth to a bouncing baby girl for all the worthy reasons. First, on the year I was born, 12th May was one of the best days of the week- now for the people who are curious about my age, go check your calendars. Second, its tongue friendly and sweet to your ears, twelfth May. If you think this is a joke, you should ear Stan pronounce it with his baritone voice. (I literally paused to hear him say it and wish I could attach a sound clip for the ‘doubting thomases’ on the streets). Third, my birth-date makes me a Taurus and the whole world knows that Taurus women are the best thing that happened to the universe. I could go on and on but let us leave it at that. Okay?
On my birthday eve, I tucked in quite late trying to finish a book that I had to because I did not want to grow a year older, reading same book. Sounds lame but it is what it is. I love reading but am very selective on what type of books I read. I had been reading The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. This was Stan’s recommendation during our last monthly book review session. He convinced me a good one until had to comply. Some quotes from the book did inspire me and this post as well.
“Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.”
“Knowing what’s good enough requires knowing yourself and what you care about. So: Think about occasions in life when you settle, comfortably, for “good enough”; Scrutinize how you choose in those areas; then apply that strategy more broadly.”
“Focus on what makes you happy, and do what gives meaning to your life”
“If you seek and accept only the best, you are a maximizer.”
The first quote is more like a perfect summary for the book while the other three are my key takeaways. We are very close with Stan and always talk about anything and everything. He is smart, just as I am, but we get silly and stupid sometimes. We have inside jokes. We can talk about you while you are seated next to us and you would never know it- infact, you will contribute to the story blindly. Stan always jokes about how we met and how vulnerable we both were. He throws shade about some guys I was dating and it never gets old.
For a long time, I did not know who I was. I did not know what I cared about. I did I did not know what I wanted out of this life-my life. Let me use a cliché one- I did not even know my purpose. Boy- this girl was lost! But see, see what God does? I now know crystal clear what I want and want I don’t want. I know my boundaries and confidently talk about them. I know who I can entertain and who I can’t. Am not luke- warm about anything. Am either hot or cold. Am grey about no nothing! I only know of white or black. I am very expressive and let people know who I am, “the dance moves we can have and those that we can’t have”. I have known what is good for me overtime and every day I strive to use this strategy to choose what is excellently good for me.
Every day I choose to seek and accept only the best and what makes my beautiful self-happy. See, like calling myself beautiful! I have chosen to be a maximizer.
See, before I met Stan, I was stuck at a failed relationship. I was sad and somewhat depressed. I would blame myself and tell myself, “if only on that day you had done this or that, the relationship would still be strong”. I kept thinking about someone who did not feel the same way I felt about him. I was waiting for a call or email from someone who I was probably the last thing they ever thought about. But don’t we all go through that phase in our life?
Then amidst this dark period Stan happened. Boom! You all know why he is one of the best thing that happened to me. He did not make me happy but helped me begin focusing on what makes me happy and gives meaning to my life. Life has never been the same and everyday he holds my hand and walk through life with me. He has become my cheerleader, best friend, confidant, prayer partner…
Truth is that learning to choose is hard. However, when you know who you are and what you want then you begin to align your choices. You choose what brings you happiness. You choose what helps live your purposes. You choose what gives true meaning to your life. You choose who you give your heart to.
Go thee and be a maximizer! Seek and accept only the best.
Like T.I. and Iggy Azalea would say… No Mediocre!