I often lay awake at night and ponder our moments and conversations. I remember how it felt, I smile at how it currently feels and ask myself how it will be and feel like in the future. I swiftly remind myself that the past is gone, the future is unknown, I only have the now- and I better live it well.
Through us, I have learned that: In every way that I am strong, I am also weak. In all the way that I am weak, I am also strong.
Simple words yet growled with so much weight. It has become my sort of Mantra, to say the least. Every time I say these words or hear something close to these words I always feel something in me is fracturing. I get goosebumps and often a smile curves on my pretty face!
It is a concept that sounds and seems so complex but can be summarized with much simplicity.
My feet in the sand and the sun rays reflecting off the ocean surface which now looks like a glass surface. It is so calm! I can hear my own thoughts. As I watch the sun slowly sink beneath the water’s edge I can’t help but imagine of what he is doing right this minute. He is miles away but I feel him so close to my heart. I always feel like his spirit is engraved in each of my cells. Somehow, he got a way of burying himself beneath my skin.
I close my eyes as the sun takes its final bow and I choose to go back (at least am aware and I purposely go to the past). Please come with me.
There are things that happen, events that take place, souls that you meet and your mindset is forever shifted. With respect to this post, I met a soul.
Few years ago, I was fleeing from the constraints of my own existence. I was running but never moved an inch-like in a dream. I felt like I was running to the north, south, left and right but I never seemed to move.
I was running, running away from my reality. I was denying how real things were. I felt vulnerable and weak. I was so lost and I did not know it!
Amidst all this tough and dark phase though, I met a soul that shifted my mindset. Our interaction led to me. It led to rediscovering the strength inside myself that allowed me to grow from a girl at war with herself into a grown @$$ woman. A woman who begun walking in the fearlessness of the wolf. She began living in the bravery of a lion and above all, she started acting with all the fierceness of a dragon.
This interaction reignited desires that I had overlooked such as writing, yoga, travelling just to mention but a few. I began a journey of self-discovery and emotional metamorphosis. I began to understand the role of both strength and weakness. I began to appreciate the dualism of my existence and I took it positively. To say the least, I am grateful for where I am right this moment.
It took one soul to bring this understanding into life.
Thinking of it, these contrasts are not uniquely mine. Every man and woman who ever walked and will ever walk, on this earth has or will experience similar moments of elation and despair. The recipe for surviving it all is in knowing that:
In every way that you are strong, you are also weak. In all the way that you are weak, you are also strong.
! X0X0!
Diary of a Beautiful Life. 